Black Butler AU

Note: I don't know what you call a parody that doesn't make fun of a song, but that's not important. The important thing is not to mix up A with Astrid. Astrid would be the "other girlfriend." If Astrid were present at this event, I'm sure she would be outraged. And I will not reveal the name of A, because I haven't figured that out. Neither does A mean anything (as in I am NOT linking this to Pretty Little Liars, I don't even watch that show), it's just a letter so we can refer to that person. And yes, this should be under rotbtfd, only I don't know how to get to that. So enjoy, hope you think it's funny, and please don't leave mean comments or kill me if you don't! I'm not really trying to create another pairing!

[Bulda:]

 

What’s the issue, dear?

Why are you holding back from such a man?

Is it the clumpy way he walks?

 

[Hiccup & A:]

 

What?

 

[Cliff:]

Or the awkward way he talks?

 

[Female Troll 1:]

 

Or the fact that he has got one metal leg?

 

[Hiccup:]

 

H-hey!

 

[Male Troll 1:]

 

And though he seems to have washed well,

he really does seem sort of smelly.

 

[Bulda:]

 

But you won’t meet a fellow like him who’s as

 

[Bulda & Cliff:]

 

Sensitive and sweet!

 

[A:]

 

Well that’s nice, but…

 

[Bulda & Cliff:]

 

So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

So he’s got a few flaws.

 

[Female Troll 2:]

 

Like his peculiar dragon,

 

[Male Troll 2:]

 

His thing with the dragon.

 

[FT2 & MT2:]

 

That’s a little outside of nature’s laws!

 

[Hiccup:]

 

This is not about me!

 

[Small Group of Trolls:]

 

So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

but this we’re certain of

You can fix this fixer-upper

Up with a little bit of love!

 

[Kristoff:]

 

Can we please just 

Stop talking about this?

 

[Anna:]

 

''Right, you guys. This is becoming more of''

 a problem than it really is.

 

[Bulda:]

 

''I’ll say! So tell me, dear''

Is it the way that he runs scared?

 

[Male Troll 3:]

 

Maybe he’s socially impaired

 

[Troll Child:]

 

Or that he only likes to tinkle in the woods

 

[A:]

 

I did not need to know that...

 

[Cliff:]

 

Are you holding back your

Fondness due to his boyish shaggy-hairedness?

 

[Female Trolls:]

 

Or the way he covers

Up that he’s the honest goods?

 

[All Trolls:]

 

He’s just a bit of a fixer-upper,

He may have a few bugs

 

[Hiccup:]

 

No I don’t!

 

[All Trolls:]

 

His isolation is confirmation

Of his desperation for healing hugs

 

[Girls:]

 

Awww!

 

[All Trolls:]

So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

But we know what to do

The way to fix up this fixer-upper

Is to fix him up with you!

 

[A:]

 

What does that mean??!!

 

[Elsa:]

I don’t know.

 

[Kristoff:]

 

''Stop it, stop it, ENOUGH! He has got a different girlfriend, okay?!''

 

(silence; blink, blink; huddle)

 

[Cliff:]

 

So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

 

[Male Troll 4:]

 

That’s a minor thing.

 

[Male Troll 5:]

 

This other girlfriend is a flex arrangement.

 

[Troll Child:]

 

And by the way, I don’t see her here!

 

[Male Trolls:]

 

So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

His brain’s a bit betwixt.

Get the other gal out of the way and

The whole thing will be fixed.

 

[Both Guys:]

 

Arrrrgh!

 

[Bulda:]

 

We’re not sayin' you can change him,

‘Cause people don’t really change.

We’re only saying that love's a force

That's powerful and strange.

 

[Elsa:]

 

People make bad choices if they’re mad,

Or scared, or stressed.

 

[Anna & Elsa]

 

Throw a little love their way!

 

[Female Trolls:]

 

Throw a little love their way.

 

[Bulda and Female Trolls:]

 

And you’ll bring out their best.

 

[All Trolls:]

 

True love brings out their best!

Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

That’s what it’s all about!

 

[Cliff:]

 

Father!

 

[Female Troll 3:]

 

Sister!

 

[Male Troll 6:] 

 

Brother!

 

[All Trolls:]

 

We need each other to raise

Us up and round us out.

Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,

But when push comes to shove.

 

[Olaf:]

 

The only fixer-upper fixer

That can fix up a fixer-upper is

 

[Trolls:]

 

True! true!

True, true, true!

Love (True love)

Love, love, love, love, love

Love! (True love!)

 

True...

 

[Troll Priest:] 

 

Do you, A, take Hiccup to be your troll-fully wedded?

 

[A:]

 

W-wait a minute, what!?

 

[Troll Priest:]

 

You’re getting married!

 

[Trolls:]

 

Love!

 

[A:]

Nope!